somewhereinbrooklyn-:

I think it’s time to talk about your blogging problems

DEAD

spiritinthenight:

Yeah, you’ve got your celebrities all up and about Criminal Minds, but let’s talk about Jon fucking Barton

Who is Jon Barton, you ask? Jon Barton is former Marine and had a recurring role as a SWAT leader on Criminal Minds in seasons one to four. But this dude isn’t your average soldier. Jon Barton was in the Marines for ten years, motherfucker. You know what kind of people voluntarily stay in the Marines for an entire decade? Badasses, that’s who.

Now don’t go thinking this guy just chilled in the ocean for ten years, brothers and sisters. This guy knows how to operate over 90 weapons. Can you operate almost 100 weapons? Fuck no, you can’t! This BAMF doesn’t going around killing people he doesn’t like with all of those weapons; he fucking trains famous people how to use them in movies and TV. The entire Criminal Minds cast? Trained by him. Aaron fucking Eckhart? That’s right, trained by him. In fact, Jon fucking Barton is the most currently trained Military Coordinator in all of motherfucking Hollywood. Shemar Moore would hold his gun like a fucking baby monkey if it weren’t for Jon Barton, so you’re welcome ladies and televised justice.

Oh, but you think he only knows about military shit? Fuck no. This dude knows exactly this shit needs to look on screen so it seems legit. In fact, brother started his own fucking consulting and production company dedicated to military props, weapons, uniforms, camera equipment, script rewrites, stunt choreography, and a bunch of other military movie shit. 

Who mad all of those badass moments on Criminal Minds possible? Jon Barton. Who kicked down doors when Shemar Moore was busy doing something else? Jon Barton. Who served the United States of America for an entire decade? Jon fucking Barton.

So let’s give a round of applause to this badass motherfucker, because Criminals Minds would be so un-badass and all of those motherfuckers would get away with killing people without this dude’s help.

extraordinaryfearlessness:

world-shaker:

“Things get pretty crazy at English teachers’ parties.”

Oh my goodness. HAHAHAHAHA. Best spin on pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey EVER.

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

bubblesofrinia:

-Sir, we’ve found this and we needed you to name it.

-Pineapple.

-But we figured we might as well just call it “Ananas” since the majority of the world refers to it as-

-Pineapple.

-But sir-

-Pine. Apple.

LOL